About going beyond

I read much later that there is a state in human conscious called ANAGRAHA SHITI or an existence at a level where you have understood the transitory nature of the world and stay in a disinterested state.

It does not mean that you have stopped working at all; it means working without any expectation, working because work flows from you in a pure state but your consciousness has shunned worldly expectations. It also does not mean that you don’t indulge in the pleasures of the world,. You do take part in life, but you are not attached to it. You are not a doer because you are not driven by a desire to do something noble or great, but you are a doer because you are in a life form, and work is a necessity.

I read about it much later and understood it immediately. You can reach such a state where you don’t possess evils like fear, ego, anger, complexes, zealously, strong desire; physical or otherwise and things like that. It’s a blissful state. It requires a lot of self-assessment and cleansing of the inner self of many human frailties.

A point of time came, when I was drawn into love, on a grater plane. It means not bestial passion drawn out of nothing, but a love that grows little by little and reaches your soul. A love that makes you a giver, a river, and a sunlit valley and everything seems beautiful. It’s a kind of love that is with the world and without. So many things changed inside. So many things came alive. When you find someone you can connect with at the soul level, you want to give and give, to this world. In ordinary bonds, it doesn’t happen, because one remains subordinate. It runs by the rules of the world with all its weaknesses and is fragile. Love can happen only when you are true individuals meeting on a higher plane. We humans make our men and women sacrificial goats and there is just drudgery, tiredness, resentment, expectation and frustration and compromise in worldly bonds. At the soul level, there is no separation.It’s a heavenly bond. But sometimes it happens that souls cannot meet. The world comes in between or they fail to recognize one another.

When you have felt a soul connection and it breaks, it is not easy to bear it because the root has gone very deep.Love remains, but it exists in separation. One can find peace only when one can go back to one’s blissful aloneness, that ANAGRAHA SHTITI OR disinterested existence while still doing duties as long as one lives. In this state work flows fromyou in pure state and you even don’t recognize yourself as a doer, because the‘I’ or the EGO in you has died. You don’t want praise, you don’t get hurt, and you do because it flows from you. You don’t live for needs, but because you have a life to live and play a role in the cosmos. It becomes a cosmic existence. You look like an ordinary person, you talk, eat, sleep, laugh, bow down, rise, fall, like everyone, but you have changed inside. It’s not easy to recognize such a person. It needs the same vibes, the same wave length.

The transition period is on. I am gradually returning from where I had entered to another state of love. A soul connection never dies. It remains there forever. But the communication is snapped and the journey becomes different. To that blissful state.

Another journey

When the sun went down in the sky,

Darkness dawned,

The air was so heavy that

Life hardly breathed,

Longs struggled,

The shoot covered the entire horizon

The feet were rooted to the ground.

It was such a long spell,

The shadow of death hung,it hung,

A little wind,

And any glimmer of light would have been

Snuffed out.

It was hard to find a way in the darkness, alone,

Not even the support of a bird.

The shadow persisted.

Hands and legs desperately longed for touch.

Death came at last,

The horizon cleared,

A connection broke,

And the colours faded from the sky,

Wearing the yellow glum,

It sadly looked down.

mourning.

For a used, humiliated and hunted self.

Light will return a time past,

no doubt,

Colours will return pale yet beautiful

A remembrance of a sweet song, once heard,

Will hurt and hurt,

When the fallen petals will be whispering

With the awareness

That once they were pink,blue and purple.

…………………………………………………………………………

If we observe closely, in an unbiased way, not as a man or woman, but as an individual, we see that standing at the threshold of 21st century, we are no different as far as role play is concerned. The new generation does show a change. Today's young men do care a little more as far as their women are concerned, but still, it is the woman who still bears more of the burden of family life. Earlier, women were not going to work, so there were clear role divisions. Women kept homes and men earned the bread. But today, even at a time when educating girls and expecting them to build a career of their has been accepted as a normal thing, barring the honeymoon season, it is the woman who is expected to perform all the traditional womanly duties besides working outside and earning money. They cook, serve, wash, clean, go through pregnancy and childbirth, tend to children, look after their studies and sacrifice their individuality for the family. Our men have adapted the western and European modernity in some strange way while expecting their women to be the same age-old Indian woman.

It is true that if we make issues of it, family life will become hell and families will suffer. That is why women remain silent at times and bear many incongruities and offences without raising a hue and cry. That is how Indian families survive, at the cost of the happiness and freedom of women. Men like their women to be soft, tender, weak, dependent and subdued and get happiness by thinking that they are giving happiness to them and by taking care of them. Even the men of high intellect, knowledge and sophistication don't hesitate to declare emphatically that they are are the saviours of the women species. It is painful to say that men praise those women who demean, belittle and subdue their beings and sacrifice their joys, their creativity, their interests ans leisure to keep their families together.

God had created men and women to make life on earth beautiful. As women sacrifice their happiness because they have been treated so through the ages,as they are physically weak and vulnerable, men should complement them with the same degree of sacrifice, by supporting them with their physical strength. They should love and appreciate them as the beautiful creation of God and look after their happiness. They should respect their sacrifice because they are not merely meant to be used for enjoyment, childbearing, earning money and doing household work. Only when men and women respect one another and love one another completely and sacrifice to the equal degree for one another, can this earth be a beautiful place. But today, where we stand, it will take a lot of understanding, complete elimination of egoistic manhood, and a lot of effort on the part of men and women to reach a point where they can see themselves as equal partners in the game of life.

Reborn in the Afternoon

The afternoon came mounting on
its feathered horse,
Not a leaf moved,
Not a soul stirred,
A television blared somewhere,
Suddenly the remnants of a bond,
a horde of fond memories,
of long cherished, purely divine moments 
rose from the bottom somewhere within
and tuned into showers
no, into a river that flowed vigorously 
late into the day's end,
and then slowly dried up.


A question repeated itself
to which no answer was an answer,
mistakes don't begin or end a soul affair,
may be the sins from a last birth 
evolved as penance
were carried over
from another life.

No, love never ends,
you remembered the words
and  your eyes started flowing once again,
You wove  a song
and  planted it on the afternoon's wings
so that it may reach the other end of the world
and melt the gathered suffocation
setting the heart free,
to fly through the opened  doors of existence
to unbearable tenderness,
and pain.

At the river

Standing at the bank,
You marvel at the rippling greenish flow,
the vast expanse of a river,
Under the slowly dying sun

You keep watching the sunset
and the dark waters shining under the quietly
mounting moon,
content and peaceful.
beautiful and small
as you read from the pages
of the night.

Suddenly someone comes
and holds your hand,
you shrink and struggle,
trying to free yourself,
But the insisting hand
and the twinkling eyes
lead you into the water step by step.

Your timid self, that was
always afraid of the depth,
of sinking,suffocating and drowning,
suddenly comes alive,
the water cold to your feet,
you want to be there for eternity,
want more depth,
even when life blows past you,
Wading in the water
just like that ,
holding the hand,
It's warmth,seeping into your blood.

Now that you have started knowing the pleasures
of water, of the depth,
you yearn for more.

Suddenly the hand that holds yous loosens
its grip
and moves away,
to hold another hand,fairer and younger
to seek something fresher,newer.

Time stops for you.
Neither you move farther,
nor you want to go back,
after you have known and understood the river
and its dark secrets.
Time stands in its place, still,
like a dis-functional unmoving pendulum

You just stand there,
puzzled, stupefied,and waiting,
not knowing what happened and why.

Only a vast hunger opens its mouth
and looks for
an outlet,a desire to devour
something incomprehensible.

You want to call out, scream,
and to cry,
but tears flow inward,
and dark shadows move farther and farther,
living only
a deathlike silence,
which only you can hear.

Are we rational?

Human beings are the weirdest animals on earth. And they are regarded as most intelligent too. They built space stations and regard some days of a week as sacred or bad. All those people take pride in the fact that they perform pujas or offer so many things to God and fast on some particular days. You can be surprised at the way society conditions people and they blindly accept everything without questioning. You ask for donation for an orphanage or an old-age home, they will ask you a thousand questions and turn you away without giving a penny, but you go with a request for money to build temples, people will find out your address and give money. I am not telling that we should stop following rituals or loving our Gods or stop fasting on certain days. But we should regard them as our beautiful culture that keeps our life colourful and vibrant without being superstitious. We don't have even that much rationality to understand that all these religious rituals and sacredness has been devised by human beings only and they were like us who wrought these fetters all by themselves and no God had whispered in their ears to do such things. We are free to follow man-made religions and rituals to get joy and to share joy. If their had been a God, he is one and indivisible.We live with a belief system and have never tried to question its relevance.How did we came to know that some days are good and some are bad?We just flow with the social conditioning we are born into and blindly accept them.

Similar is the case with Our women. Women take such pride in telling how they sacrificed their habits and hobbies because their husbands didn't like them. They even go to the extent of changing their food habit and life style where as the truth is that if a man and a woman truly love one another, they will never try to change themselves. They will change , if at all, out of love and respect. What is the best is they will keep their originality and still could be very happy.Where is love in the lives of people. Relationships thrive because any one of the woman or man bows down and life becomes a habit. But life can be better, more loving, with more of mutual respect and commitment involved. Instead of rising together holding hands, people just subdue one or the other and life goes on fine. But their are people, who are above others, their conscious has the capacity to question, love and understand what ordinarily people don't understand. Life, which we get only once, we waste. because we have to follow the herd, our own voice has no right to exist. To be like others is so easy, life so hassle free, but just a bit cowardly. Not a big thing. Is it? Nah? We don't question because we don't want to move to higher spheres, we want to live conveniently.