The Last Retreat

How many deaths are needed 
for a distraught heart to give in at last
and give up.
Only this time the songs will be  allowed to play.

Later they will 
fill the air of the brightly or softly lit room
The sound waves
bouncing around without expecting any
arrivals or departures.

Songs have their own existence,
Don't they?

Everytime the bricks were pushed 
right into their place,
A reverse wind displaced some,
The wall could never be built,
despite the sweat and the turmoil.

Wall are needed
to be dimounted later,
so that the moonlight will fall
and will carry the contended souls on its wings,
to the purple paradise 
of eternal mirth.

This is the last time
Someone stands under the canopy of trees
and waits for a call,
to hold an outstretched hand,
Until night deepens, the eyes will search 
through the leaves,
waiting for a distant glimmer,
Then the waiting feet will
retreat, into the old haven, to fall asleep
until the new sun rose
and new wings opened.

 

 

Eternal Rain

It's already so dark outside
I think you have come down heavily,
I can hear your coarse voice
A chorus of the earth and the heaven.

Wait a while,
I have not yet pulled out the clothes from the line,
Not given medicine to father
Not finished cooking,
The dogs stand close to the wall
Waiting for their quota 
Of chapatis.

I will take sometime
to be with you,
But I am full of your fragrance,
Your music
While running errands.

Bouncing feet moves to your pace,
Inside the walls, the closed eyes
Could still see your splendour,
and smell your presence.

You live in me forever,
Coming out on and off in the
Season and  when the Earth's 
breath is shallow
and the sea goes insane.

Wait a while only,
I will find a place close enough
to embrace you,
and drape your fall all over me
and be one
with you, the breeze and 
the earth.

Tao's 20th Verse..QUOTED

Give up learning and you will be free
from all your cares.
What is the difference between yes and no?
What is the difference between good and evil?

Must I fear what others fear?
Should I fear desolation 
When there is abundance?
Should I fear darkness
When the light is shining everywhere?

In spring, some go to the park
and climb the terrace,
but I alone am drifting,not knowing where I am.
Like a newborn baby before it learns to smile,
I am alone without a place to go.

Most people have too much;
I alone seem to be missing something.
Mine is indeed the mind of an ignoramus
in its unadulterated simplicity.
I am but a guest in this world.
While others rush about to get things done,
I accept what is offered.
I alone seem foolish,
earning little, spending less.

other people strive for fame,
I avoid the limelight
preferring to be left alone.
indeed I seem like an idiot;
No mind, no worries.

I drift like a wave on the ocean
I blow as aimless as the wind.

All men settle down in their grooves,
i alone am stubborn and remain outside.
But wherein I am most different from others is
in knowing to take sustenance from the great universe.

If you miss that one soul...

When I got tired of pitying myself
that I live in an empty house 
with an empty heart and an empty bed,
I scanned the face of every passer by.

A lot of contemplation and 
observation it took
and I found that people with mates
and good lives were no less lonelier,
Some mated like dogs in seasons
and squabbled other times,
and lived in bliss,
without communion but a lot of talking,
with reasons to live
To live as people live,
converging in the whirlpool that eternally
runs high in the bazaars of the world.

One may get a mate,
and some children to fill one's life,
It's running moments,
But to get one who fills life's inner emptiness
With whom you feel like flowering under the sun
And the moon,
in the wind and the storm,
With whom you unpetal and sway into 
the other realm of love,
hardly comes by.

In a Bus

It’s a summer sun gone into hiding suddenly,

There’s just the right paleness a sky could wear

As if it aches dull, and is sore with some unknown pain

Seeing the panorama of nature and people

From a running bus, is revealing.

The mind drifts back to people

Who came with the signboard of love,

Flirted with emotions and limbs,

But didn’t stay long.

A strange sadness moves through the trees quickly

And you whisper to the wind,

‘God bless their happy families, their wives and children.’

And sullenly think how fear prevents the heart from writing its

Own language,

Fear of people, of safety, of the ego dying,

Fear of so many things

Sticks to the dark corners of the mind

and keeps us small.

A song plays on the ears

And a strange longing stretches its limbs nowhere

Longing for love, for touch,

for a connection as cosmic as ether

Longing for someone to come and break you free

From a self-imposed widowhood.

Water flows in dark ripples

Under the bridge,

Sand ribs stretch for miles,

The trees look absent-minded and sullen,

Carrying your mood.

No fingers stretch and touch yours,

No arms envelope you in reassurance.

You keep listening to the song still,

Teary-eyed, bleary-eyed,

Thinking of how much you gave and how much received.

You are not anymore afraid of pain but,

Not fearful of anything under the sky,

except sin.

Love, Love and Leyond.....

                 -1-

Almost always

 Thoughts of love invade the mind

And she is overwhelmed with longing

The heart says that she will never love again

The way she could have  loved,

There can’t be anyone alike .

So she almost thinks of asking from God,

After she is dead,

And thinks of sitting in the Eden with love, under a tree,

Shoulder to shoulder

Hands entwined,

Toes playing and souls merged.

But then she remembers

That it was only she who ran helter and skelter

Clutching to love,

People looked for other things 
And ran forever,
Without twitching an eyebrow,

For  pretty brides, parents, friends, relatives

Parties, progeny, convenience, social standing, skin, freedom,

Projects, needs and fifteen years of sex.

 She relents and falls silent.

               -2-

I tell my foolish girl that why she’s dying for people

Who always chose their pride

Over her happiness,

Who bartered her heart

With conditions of not to seek joy in exchange of

Their so-called dignified existence.

I tell her to go

And love that man

Who curses her, rebukes her,

Gets angry with her

And stops talking from while to while

But can not imagine a life without her,

Can’t go seeking happiness in some other woman,

Some other face,

Who, though fumes and smokes

That she keeps him at bay,

can stand and wait at Eternity’s gate

but can’t stop loving her ever.

                  -3-

Women,

Keep away from married men

And their fanciful engaging conversations

And the glint in the hovering eyes.

They are just bored with

Their everyday existence

And old and used things.

And are on a look out for new excitements.

They will never hold your hand in the light,

They will never take you home,

At the end of the day,

They will go back to the safety of their happy homes

So, strike your conversation,

Finish it to a camaraderie cut,

And move on.

Women,

Don’t loathe men who dumped you

And went for other pastures,

Pray for them, for their pretty wives and cute children,

Their happy homes and restless souls,

Their successes and dreams,

They have got what they chose.

If you loved them,

Pray for their happiness and move on.

      -4-

She will leave the house some day now

Where she had entered with her crowded self

Head in the clouds

And thoughts scattered.

That is the house

Where love could have entered

(Is love ever cautious?)

Its presence keeping the air inside fragrant

Forever, except a bit of doubt

And a whole lot of longing.

Love would have moved around in the small space,

Sleeping on the ground with oiled head

One hand clasping another, holding tight

Onto heart

She just kept thinking in disbelief.

She dreamt of love

In a house, where love and she, could spend some

Intimate moments, breath upon breath,

Lips upon lips,

Where they could have sat shoulder to shoulder

Talking madness.

These is the house

Where longing  for love turned into something else

And departed

Leaving her teary and sad

Like an abandoned child.

Houses will change,

Dreams will fade under layers of time

And incidents,

Some of them she will carry to a new house,

And keep it her own,

With nobody to share.

She will also carry the faint picture of lovelorn

People, detained for sometime

At time’s get-way,

And then vanishing

Into the mist.

           -5-

The lights faded little by little

In the unstable sky,

The tinge of red lingered in the horizon

Following the sun- down,

As darkness fell,

Trees turned into ghosts

And stood unmoving.

The river shone in its silvery light,

In the empty part of the sandy bed,

A bunch of kids stood

In a weird formation,

Not playing, not shouting,

Looking like Martians on a strange search

On the earth.

I looked at the passing scene

And death seemed

A soothing intermission

Before embarking on a new journey,

On board a new train.

If There is Heaven...

It's mid afternoon
And a breeze scatters the leaves,
You can almost hear a call if you have a ear for it,
to come and lose yourself somewhere
in the mangroves or the clusters of trees
at the foot of the hill.
Nowhere the twilight sings so beautifully,
Nowhere the trees invite you so maddening,
Nowhere you melt into tears
just for nothing,
Nowhere you can meditate
and connect with the universe so close,
even on a bike,
Nowhere else can you close your eyes
in the middle of a crowd
and trust so perfectly

and can choose to get lost completely.

Balancing Love and Logic- From The Speaking Tree column published in THE TIMES OF INDIA

IT IS SOMETHING NOT WRITTEN BY ME. I READ IT IN THE TIMES OF INDIA AND LIKED IT.

Can we achieve a balance between love and logic? Logic leads to material gains, while love warms the heart and leads to emotional and spiritual gain. In life, both are required. The eternal battle between mind and heart is something all of us have to contend with. You are made up of body, mind, heart and soul. Physically, the heart is a separate organ and the mind has no physical location. But when we speak of heart in poetic or metaphysical terms, when we speak of emotions, ‘heart’ refers to the part of the brain which is responsible for our emotions. And love is always of the heart, never of the mind.

The human mind is a double edged sword. It can take us to great heights, as we can see from scientific and technical advances we’ve accomplished. It can also push us into the depths of decline, and all the crimes, wars and bloodshed over centuries are proof of that. The heart is responsible for feelings of love, compassion, sharing, altruism, sympathy, and empathy, but is a bad businessman. The heart is much ‘weaker’ than the cognitive and rational thinking part of the brain. The heart is not concerned with profit and loss, or with assets and liabilities. In fact, if anything, the heart is irrational and illogical.

Love always springs in the heart. It is a deep connection between two human beings, which cannot be explained or understood with words. And love can happen to anyone, anytime. Every society places a lot of rules and restrictions on love, romance and marriage. Although our mind understands these and tries to follow them, the heart can often break through the barriers and fall in love, even if it means going against social conditionings and beliefs. The heart can bring you true love, but you might have to pay a price.

Another problem with love is that we often tend to confuse our thoughts for feelings. Love cannot be described or taught to anyone. It arises spontaneously. How does one know whether what one feels, is really love, or something masquerading as love? Love implies freedom both to you and the one you love; love implies that you are willing to do anything for the happiness of the other person, even if it is not in your interest. Love is unconditional, without any ifs and buts. If one wants to know true love, one must observe, study and understand the love of a mother for her child. This is often considered the gold standard, where love is concerned.

If you truly love someone, you will only want to give, not to take. Possessiveness and jealousy are not part of true love; they are thoughts of the mind, which is always from worrying about losing your love. True love is never scared of losing anything, because it does not want to take, only give. And when you are only interested in giving, how can you be worried about losing anything?

The mind often tries to tell us many things---the person you love is not rich, is not good looking, is not educated enough, will not be acceptable to your parents …. But if you truly love someone, it will be easy to counter all these arguments. The mind warns us against losses when we are in love, but true love does not care whether you gain or lose. The moment you start asking “What’s in it for me, it is no longer love. Real love is always unconditional, without ego, and ready for every sacrifice.

Follow P V Vaidyanathan at speakingtree.in